Saturday, December 21, 2019

Rise of Skywalker

My full review to (probably) follow...but for now:

4, 1, 2, Clone Wars, 3, Rebels, Rogue, ignore Han (not a bad movie, just unnecessary), 5, 6, 7, drink heavily while cursing Rian Johnson 8, then 9.

My review:

It's not a ...bad movie.

It's just...meh.

There's been a number of Marvel movies I watched, then downloaded the crappy handheld pirate copies to watch again...sometimes even going a second time to the theater just trying to digest what happened.

No such feeling with Rise of Skywalker. It's just...fine. Perfectly fine. Not great. Not oh-my-God-watch-it.

So we have canon-as-canon comes that ships can enter hyperspace and be tracked. Somehow. Fett, Falcon, Bespin. Empire arrived before the Falcon.

Last of the Jedi treated hyperspace tracking as some incredibly complex new technology, requiring a large Star Destroyer to pull off the math involved.

Rise of Skywalker opens with "hyperspace skipping" or whatever they call it jumping from place to place in hot pursuit as no big deal, everyday happening.

We won't even discuss just pointing a ship and using it as a hyperspace speed missle to destroy a Dreadnought...while the Death Star needed this very precise shot on a small vulnerability because I guess no one thought they could just take one of innumerable freighters, juice up its hyperdrive, and point it at and make the jump.

Yes there are sounds in outer space...because a movie would be very boring (or exceptionally difficult to make really engaging) without them. That's a necessary bit of theater. Last of the Jedi opens with...gravity dependent bombs being "dropped" in outer space?

I'm jumping between the two movies because it's emblematic; they are a jumbled up hot mess that don't make sense given past movies.

Marvel, with some "meh" movies here and there (looking at you, Captain Marvel), has built a coherent universe and at least makes reasonable excuses when retro-conning changes.

Rian Johnson didn't make bold decisions in Last of the Jedi, he made a mess that is even larger in its failure when you watch Rise of Skywalker and realize a good 30+ minutes could have been trimmed from this film and moved there...and useless plots in Jedi removed.

Leah undergoing full Jedi training? Sure would have explained the Mary Poppins moment without it making "Wow, hey wait, how come she is so sensitive? Is she another magical being like Rey & Finn who just pick up the weapons of a Jedi are instantly capable of effectively fighting with them without years of training?"

The reveal of Palpatine? In the opening scroll? Come on, he could've been revealed as the last scene of Jedi and set the hook for the next movie.

It was OK movie making. It was bad story telling.

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